HOW PRIDE COULD BE DAMAGING YOUR MARRIAGE

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Pride is a relationship killer. Whether it’s friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood or marriage, it shreds them all. It makes you feel self-sufficient and independent and these are good qualities as long as you are not afraid of being vulnerable to the one person you love. But if pride makes you feel you don’t need anyone’s help (your partner’s for instance) and especially God’s, then you are in trouble.

Pride makes a person feel the need to be right all the time. The “I am right and you are wrong” attitude is never healthy for a marriage. Proving you are right (even if you are) comes at the expense of tearing down the relationship. That’s why it’s always advised to practice humility and submission in marriage.

Ways pride damages a marriage

It makes it hard for you to apologize: Pride doesn’t like getting wounded. It makes it hard for you to accept your mistake and say sorry to your partner. It ultimately affects your relationship because you make your partner feel how little respect you have for them. It makes you look bad and gives your partner a reason to alienate from you. So, if you’re wondering why everybody at home (your spouse and kids) runs away from you, you have the answer now.

It makes you insecure: A person who has pride wants to feel superior. They act like they are perfect to hide their insecurity. We all know the feeling of insecurity in marriage is a dangerous thing. It makes you distrust your partner, falsely accuse them of adultery and even doubt their love for you. Sometimes, this reaches an extent where one starts snooping on their spouse and use tracking apps (like TrackMyFone), spouse monitoring tools (for instance, Xnspy), and even ambient recorders to keep tabs on their activities. If these insecurities are allowed to fester, they can hurt your partner deeply and shake the grounds of your relationship.

You don’t value your partner’s opinion: Pride wraps you up in your own thoughts. You become self-centered and become blind to other people’s opinion. You start dismissing your partner and they feel excluded from every conversation and every decision.

It makes you defensive: Whenever you are criticized for something, your pride makes you defensive. Since you don’t have humility, you can’t stand criticism especially when it’s about you.

It keeps you from being vulnerable: You use your pride as an armor. It’s hard for you to admit your imperfections because you are afraid it will make you look weak in your partner’s eyes. You fear vulnerability. Fortunately, if your S.O. truly loves you, failing won’t ever make them think less of you. It will, in fact, help you learn from your shortcomings.

It makes you a bad listener: Since you are always caught up in your own ideas, your pride makes you a bad listener. You act like your thoughts and feelings are the only thing that matter. You become egocentric and every time you ignore your partner, it kills them a little bit more.

All of the aforementioned behaviors are marriage deal-breakers. For a relationship to work, you have to admit you could be wrong. You have to apologize. You have to accept guidance or advice from your partner. You have to acknowledge that you are not perfect because they aren’t’ either. That’s how you grow together and your relationship fosters.

Signs you have pride

Instead
of being in denial, it’s time to reevaluate yourself and your marriage. If you
see any of these signs, you are wrapped up in pride:

• You always refuse to be influenced by your partner.

• You are ignorant of the needs of your partner. Ask yourself when was the last time you gifted them something or cared about their sexual pleasures?

• You are addicted to attention. You can’t stand it when someone else gets attention.

• You find fault in everyone whether it is your friends, co-workers, bosses, coaches and even spouse.

• You never ask for help; instead, you expect others to serve you.

• You don’t like to make compromises or submit to someone’s authority.

• Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Mahatma Gandhi once said:

“Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up.”

Pride makes you are putting yourself in God’s shoes, assuming you are “Mr. know it all,” you are awesome and you have all the answers. This attitude doesn’t just demean your marriage, but your relationship with God too.

Don’t let pride get the best of you!

Pride will keep you from love, genuine friendship, spirituality, and God’s heaven. It seems harmless in the beginning and it protects you from going into a self-pitying phase too but the more you get sucked by pride, the further you move away from goodness in life.

Letting go of pride is just like detoxing your body from a drug. There are lots of things you can do every day for that, such as:

Start with meditation and practice the virtue of kindness, patience, and love on an everyday basis.

Stop trying to win arguments and being right all the time. Don’t keep score; instead, be willing to give your partner more than what you received.

Don’t hold back on apologies; it wouldn’t kill you to say sorry.

Be willing to listen to your partner and don’t be afraid to fail.

If you really love your partner and value your marriage, this pride problem needs attention. Every day you are given with a choice to make. You can either stick with pride or become humble. If you were filled with pride to your head, you won’t really be reading this right now. But you are, and it’s a good sign that you want to change this about yourself. It’s not tough to begin. Plus, humility saves more than just your marriage; it saves you from stumbling in life.

This guest article was submitted by Andrew Carroll.

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