(Last Updated On: September 23, 2016)

Most parents never thought they will be raising a rebellious child. At no time during the planning and pregnancy process they thought they will have to be dealing with a child who is very disobedient. They all thought and dreamt about giving birth to a child that would be model child. Imagine their surprise when their child becomes very rebellious.

The thing is, parents always wants the best for our children and so our children grow it us our pleasure to teach them things that would make us proud. We have great plans for them and want them to grow up and being the best they can be. We want them to be smart and kind. We want them to be likeable, respectful of others, successful. Christian parents want will teach them about their faith and hope they will share it and walk with God, we want them to grow spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.

However, for many parents, this dream is never realized as their children are very rebellious.  Our loveable infants are now teenage terrors and not at all following the “game plan” we had in our mind. How did this happened? Where did we go wrong? Who is to be blamed? The school system? Hollywood? Our culture? Could we have done things that have resulted in us raising a rebellious child?

Here are some ways you may have unintentionally raised a rebellious child, and if you are new parent there are lessons you can learn from these.

You are their friend, not their parent. As much as it is important to be your child friend, to be someone your child can talk to about everything without fear, many parents make the mistake of being too much of a friend and not a parent and so trading down the authority they have been given. As parents you must set standards and rules for your children to follow. The Bible tell us to grow up a child in the way he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6), this is because foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child (Proverbs 22:15), and so they will want to do their own thing. Let your child know that even though you are their friend, you are also their parent and so discipline must be enforce and you must guide the child in the way he should go.

You do no discipline your child. I know that you love your child very much, but there must be discipline in your home. If there is no order or if there is no discipline then you will have disorder and your child will grow up without any respect for authority or how to behave in public. The Bible says “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24 (NIV) Whenever your child does something that is wrong, you MUST correct the child. Importantly, this must be started very early, not when your child is a teenager then your trying to discipline your child, it doesn’t work like that. Discipline should start from the child is one year old. Many parents will only threaten the child, that doesn’t work either as the child will figure after a while that he or she will not be punish when they does something wrong so they will continue to misbehave. Swift discipline must follow your threat if you do not want your child to see you as a joke.

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You over-indulge them. I am sure you do not need me to elaborate on this, but if you is giving your child everything he or she wants and when they want it. Of course we want to give our children things for their enjoyment, but there is a thing call ‘giving too much’ and giving too early. It becomes inappropriate when your children can no longer handle the blessing and so it becomes a curse. How can you tell if they have become over-indulged?

  • They are no longer grateful for what they receive.
  • They have developed an “entitled” attitude.
  • When you say “NO” (to test their heart) their reaction is a tantrum, manifested in a number of different ways; crying, whining, begging, complaining, anger or violence
You are inconsistent. For you to be an effective parent there must be consistency. For example, you may discipline then today, but you do not discipline then another time they commit the same offence, or they may commit a worse offence which you let slide.
You let them make too many decisions too early. There is nothing wrong with letting your child makes decision, but it depends on what, and at what age. Even when the child is at the proper age that she can make decisions on their own, these decisions or choices should be monitored carefully. For example, what your child wear, what they eat and where they go. Many parents wanting to teach their children to be responsible, allow them to start making decisions, the problem lies in that younger children are not emotionally mature enough to handle making their own decisions in such matters, for example, what they want to wear or what they want to eat. Ask any child and he or she will eat junk food every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
You give suggestions instead of commands. Giving your child suggestions is telling your child that he/she does not have to obey. If you think about it, most people do not obey suggestions. By giving your child suggestions you are putting the ball in their court. Commands do not. Commands tell your child what you expect from them him/her. For example:
“Can you please move your bike?”  (suggestion to be obeyed eventually)
“Please move your bike right now”  (command to be obeyed immediately)
As a parent you must let your child know that you mean business, if you want them to do something you are not suggesting, but you are telling them to do it.
You Let Your Child Loose. As a parent, it is your responsibility  to train your child in the way he or she should grow. Therefore you cannot do this by letting your child go loose:
Have friends with whoever he or she wants to
Go wherever they want to
Listen or watch anything they want to
What your child listen to, hang out with and read will influence your child’s behavior.
Have a rebellious child? What should you do?
If you have a rebellious child, this is not the end, here are some things you can do to correct your child’s behavior:

Pray. Sometimes the only thing you can do is to pray and ask God to not only intervene but to give you the wisdom, strength and knowledge to do deal with your rebellious child. God knows all about rebellious children and how to correct them.

Repent. Children live what they learn. Most times our children’s behavior and rebellion is as a result of our own behavior, they learn from us whether through genetic or through social encounters. Many children’s sins can be traced to a parent – even if it is manifested in a completely different fashion. If you search your life and see that there is something about your life that needs to change you need to start doing the opposite. If you have stopped behaving in a certain manner, ask God to break every generational curse from your life and your child(ren)’s life.

Talk to your child. Let your child understand that his/her behavior will not be tolerated and is wrong. Let them know the consequences of their actions and how their behavior let you feel.

What else could you add to this article? Have you dealt, or still dealing with a rebellious child? How did you, or how are you dealing with it? Please share your thoughts

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